Just An Update

Dear Readers,

It has been a long hiatus from the usual posts I had these past few months. I felt that it was an opportunity to rest and find the purpose why I am doing this blog. Although I am usually posting from my other blog Alter Ego Project, I felt that it was time for me to hide and seek the Lord's guidance.

After writing my personal blog entry entitled "The Process Of Restoration", I felt that I am not qualified to continue what the Lord has placed in my heart. It was like condemnation and regret always makes me uncomfortable to do stuff the same way I used to. It's been five months and until now, I am not confident in what and how to move forward.

To note, the battle is within my mind. It is not that I don't know who I am in Christ or what I have received from the Lord but the idea that lingers is that "Am I still worthy to receive this calling?", it seems that my own strength, strange as it is, left me hanging and I felt the need to stop because I no longer have the same capacity as before.

Or so I thought.

In the last few weeks, I spent time reading books about restoration, the prophetic calling and listening to video messages of well known prophetic teachers. It is in this time of quiet time that I felt secure, accepted and loved. 

This is when I realized after a good talk with my mentor that this was still a process I have to go through. The physical may have been restored, the emotions have been dealt with but the inner man, the spiritual man is still in the process of restoration. Until I fully grasp God's grace, love and acceptance and until I move out from fear and shame, can I fully grasp God's calling in my life.

Even when I am writing this letter, I sense this weight being lifted up. I feel that it is not enough that I am restored as a believer but I have to rely on the working of the Holy Spirit that I may be fully restored to receive a renewed calling to minister. 

Am I already restored?

I am getting there. Slowly but surely. Keep me in your prayers as I come into a new season, after almost 5 months of not being directly working on some stuff. I'm opening up this blog site once again, to offer not just prophetic insight but also hope. 

Hope that even in the darkest times in our life, the light that shines through Christ, shines the brightest. And with that, I am now fully convinced that Apostle Paul's words are true - "when I am weak, then I am strong."

We are still in our earthly vessels and because of that, we falter, we become weak, we succumb to it and then we realize our mistakes, we seek forgiveness and then we repent. 

This is grace at work. And in an old hym's song I end this:

Amazing Grace
John Newton

1. Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
   That saved a wretch like me!
   I once was lost, but now am found;
   Was blind, but now I see.
2. ’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
   And grace my fears relieved;
   How precious did that grace appear
   The hour I first believed.
3. Through many dangers, toils and snares,
   I have already come;
   ’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
   And grace will lead me home.
4. The Lord has promised good to me,
   His Word my hope secures;
   He will my Shield and Portion be,
   As long as life endures.
5. Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
   And mortal life shall cease,
   I shall possess, within the veil,
   A life of joy and peace.
6. The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
   The sun forbear to shine;
   But God, who called me here below,
   Will be forever mine.
7. When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
   Bright shining as the sun,
   We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
   Than when we’d first begun.